I want to run away. Not from any one particular thing, but rather from life itself. I'm just so weary. I don't think there is another word or even set of words that can adequately describe my feelings. Weary...that sums it up. I'm looking forward to Iowa this summer. It's so far off the beaten path. Who goes to Iowa? That's what I keep hearing. Well, the answer my friend is me! I'm going. Of course, I'm going to minister to others. But, I really think it's going to be nice to break away from the routine of life, school, church, friends. Not that any of those are bad. It's just the norm. It's the same day in and day out. I feel like the guinea pig. Let me explain...when I was a wee child (ok so I was probably like 6 or 7) my mom would take me to the "main library" downtown pretty regularly. I remember lots of things about those visits...drinking Juicy Juice before we went in, walking on the concrete wall surrounding the garden, playing Oregon Trail on the computers (that now are probably in the Smithsonian they are so ancient), but I also remember the guinea pig. He was in a nice clean cage. He was well cared for. Everyone loved him. But he could never escape. He always had us snot-nosed kids sticking our faces up to him and talking to him and tapping on the glass and pretty much disrupting this poor guinea pig's quiet existence. I also remember that in his cage he had a wheel. Occasionally (this was always the highlight for me), he would get on the wheel and run on it. He never got anywhere;frankly, he never even lost weight (he was "big-boned"). That's me...I'm the guinea pig. Loved by many, very well cared for, but weary. Stuck in the same ol same ol, and even if I try to go somewhere, figuratively speaking, I never actually feel like I make progress. Who knows, maybe I'll read this tomorrow when I'm not tired and think "Man, what was I thinking!?" Perhaps, I just don't need to write when I'm tired because it always seems depressing. Or maybe, it's when I'm tired that my true feelings are expressed because I'm too exhausted to make the effort to hide them and be the Stoic. Whatever the case, your friendly guinea pig is signing off...