Excited. Scared. Nervous. Happy. Eager. Thrilled. Enthusiastic. Gung ho. Willing. Restless. Timid. Apprehensive. Intimidated. Adventurous. Confident. Resolute. Bold. Scatter-brained. Spunky. Cautious. Guarded. Wary. Open. Observant. Deliberate. Hopeful. Optimistic. Full of promise. Positive. Sure. Packed. Ready? Ready or not - here I come!

I started packing today. Weird...I have only 5 more days, well unless you're my mom who counts the day I leave as a day - then it's 6. Either way, it's not many!!!

The Commissioning

What I require is not too difficult, Nor is it impossible. In Christ alone, you have the victory, My grace is sufficient. I am Faithful and True.What I say happens, so fear not! Rejoice in your weakness. Rejoice in your faults. Rejoice in your sin. In these, I am glorified! It's not about you.Claim the victory before you.You have been chosen - Chosen for such a time as this. Rest in Me. Find courage in Me. Come to Me for endurance. Kneel at the foot of the cross For your victorious adventure awaits!

I leave in 12 days! It's crazy to think about. I think it's just now hitting me and I'm scared. Not for any reason but just because it's new and kind of out of my comfort zone. I'm the type of person I don't have to have all my ducks in a row so to speak...rather I just need them to be visible. However, a lot of my summer ducks are quacking and I can hear them but I just can't seem to find them. I look forward to getting up there and finally being able to at least see all my little ducks. Does that make any sense? Who knows at this point.

Ever have those times where you feel completely dissatisfied with life...even when there isn't really a reason to be dissatisfied? Perhaps my life is too routine right now.Somany of my friends lives seem to be more adventurous than mine. Maybe that is the reason for my dissatisfaction. However, this dissatisfaction isn't with the individual things I'm doing, nor is it a lack of satisfaction in my walk with Christ. It's just an overall feeling of "man, I'm ready to do something different." But then I think about that statement and it's not that I want to do anything different. Rather, I want the location (or people) around me to change. Among other reasons, I am confident that this is why I'm going to Iowa. I need a change of location, a different group of people, and a fresh perspective of life that I cannot get currently. Counting the days...

It's official! I am going to Iowa...I leave May 31st at 6:54am and will be back August 11th at 9pm. Anyone who desires to see me off or welcome me home might just become my best friend :) There has been a lot of stress, and prayers, and tears that have gone into this whole journey which has only barely started. But as always, God has shown himself faithful! I have been told that I will be working with World Changer teams, block parties, and starting seeker Bible studies on two different Catholic colleges in the area. How amazing to think that all I have experienced and learned through my working in CBU's Campus Ministry has been preparing me for this summer!!

the church and houdini

This weekend I had the chance to hang out with some of the most amazing girls I've ever known! Their passion for the Lord is unbelievable. Perhaps what I love most though is the fact that they think outside the box. Actually, it's much more than they themselves thinking outside the box. I think what draws me to them is the fact that they serve a HUGE God and they refuse to put Him in a box labeled "Church norms". Isn't that what we do so often? We say we understand how huge God is and His amazing power, but then we proceed to put God in a box, duct tape it shut, and then put that box in a steel container, hoping that God won't get out and actually shift, change, and/or completely shatter our happy little norms. (Not that norms are a bad thing all the time, but so often we create these norms just to stay comfortable.) See, God is like Houdini (roll with me on this). He can and WILL get out of any box we as puny humans try to put Him in. Because God's thoughts are not our thoughts and His ways are not our ways! Hallelujah! Imagine what a puny God we would serve, if He weren't able to break free from our definition of "right" and "wrong".

I heard not to long ago from a pastor that the reason so many college freshmen don't continue to go to church is because we don't pursue them and so they get entrapped by liberal professors at school. Perhaps a good thought, but I disagree. I think often we pursue people in general (not just college freshman) so much so that we completely turn them off of this "Christianity" thing. Not pursue them with God's love, but rather with a list of "do's and don'ts". For instance, there is a girl who is in 9th grade at my church who is developing a hatred for "the church" - not for Christ - because she doesn't fit the norms of looking or acting "right" and therefore receives condemnation from so many.

God is God and I am not! Remember that today...